Pirates vs. Ninjas

Pairing: CrissColfer

Length: ~550 words

This is a response to the CrissColfer AU Wednesday prompt “social media.” 

“Are you on that children’s website again?” Joey raised an eyebrow when he noticed the brightly colored website on his best friend’s screen.

“Coming from the guy who still watches High School Musical. Besides, Neopets was initially made-”

“For college students. I know. Do you know how I know? Because you use that excuse every time I say something about it. And shut up, you record HSM every time it’s on.”

“Yeah, but I’m not defensive about it.”

Darren turned his attention back to the screen as Joey rolled his eyes and walked away, unpausing his game of Destruct-O-Match. When he eventually lost – 600 neopoints, not bad – he noticed that he had an unread neomessage. He couldn’t stop the grin that bloomed on his face as he read the username, hisroyalhighness459. He’d first started talking to Chris when they’d both been in a guild for adults on the site. (They’d both left quite quickly. Most of the messages amongst the group were attempts to request cybersex, creatively worded in an attempt to bypass the filters on the website.) Darren had instantly connected to the witty man, and they’d been messaging back and forth for almost a month at this point. He’d always enjoyed the games that Neopets had to offer, but he’d be lying if he said that the reason he kept up with it was anything but the chance to talk to Chris.

He actually giggled at Chris’s response to his previous “Pirates or Ninjas?” message - Ninjas, obviously. They have sai swords, Darren. Sai swords. – smiling as he tried to come up with a witty response.


Chris was sitting in his trailer between scenes. The rest of the cast hadn’t batted an eye when he said he was going to spend his lunch break working on his novel, and it really was none of their business, but he still felt a little guilty as he finished his daily tasks – collecting his interest, checking his shop till, playing Tombola, visiting Coltzan’s Shrine, and a bunch of other tasks that had just become a part of his online routine. He would work on his book once he got bored. Most of the people on the website might not have been over the age of 14, but it was a relaxing break from his hectic day. Plus, Darren was online.

Chris sometimes thought that having an online friend was cliché and creepy. And meeting someone on Neopets, especially as a 19 year old, was not normal. But Darren was really fun to talk to. It wasn’t like he’d given out his phone number or address or anything. He wasn’t stupid. It was perfectly harmless.

Chris was about to open the word document that contained the very rough draft of The Land of Stories when he noticed Darren had messaged him back. He hadn’t even had to think about his answer when he’d read Darren’s message earlier. In what universe were pirates ever better than ninjas?

In Darren’s universe, apparently.

From: Darren (mmmbop)

Subject: Re: Re: Pirates vs Ninjas

Yeah, but pirates have swords too. And treasure. And they’re hotter. I mean, Orlando Bloom should be a sufficient end to this debate.

Chris rolled his eyes and glared at the screen because, sure, Orlando Bloom was attractive, but ninjas. But he couldn’t help his smile as he came up with his reply. Who knows, he thought. Maybe exchanging numbers might not be so bad.

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